Let's celebrate the week with no contact. It was beautiful and peace. I got my self martabak as treat. I was craving sweet all the weeks and yes I got that. I do not want to stalk their account if I did I have to spend 200.000 rupiah no matter what it is. I will stick with this rules. I am no longer their life neither they are. It is sad. Waking up in the morning, I have panic attack. My ehart just racing up and boom remember I broke up. That is. I burst into cry. I have no longer come to them and it will be forever. It makes me so sad that I am writing right now. Looking back for the text messages I sent I was begging for my life to be accepted and loved. I was desperate to hold him back and beg him to stay and give me one more chance. I am so proud of myself that I dont have to beg and overthink what I do that make him mad. I am sad and I dont know how long this sadness will go. I have to slowly build new habits. As now, I dont want to go out and I jsut want to relax. I am still sad and this pain is still kicking me when I am alone. But I am okay. No matter what happen I am gonna be okay and I believe that
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