I am checking on my self. How am I today?
1. I always wake up with the realisation of it is not dreaming. I sleep good night time. I dont know why I am not sad today. I am numb. I think Allah helps me to guide me to see the crystal clear of the reality. Morning is always hard for me because I keep checking my phone whether somebody texts me. I always get dream sexual and it is annoying. I never watch porn, maybe because my hormones.
I challenged myself today to go to Kota Tua. I drove to there by myself and alone. Everyone with either couple or friends. I was going alone. Imagine how lonely I feel. But I toug it out. I just explore and by something to eat mostly i spent 50000 including parking ticket. It is so expensive. Maybe next time I just go there by train.
I cut my hair and I feel like nothing change. I absolutely realize my hair is getting thinner so I need to buy something serum or oil. I want to color my hair.
I want to restart myself. I want to have something that is useful as my hobby. I dont wanna force. I will let myself go and feel the pain first.
Comments
Post a Comment