I woke up at 4 am even though I sleep at 11pm. I called my mom and my dad. We talked really long. I just wish that I can get married in 2025 and I feel like no man has ever approached me. I kinda want to vent that I really cry everyday just overthink when I will get married. the thought is here everyday. Then, my friend called me just to talk because her husband work late. I feel bad that everything seems so wrong. Every one has their own problem and the think is making me sad too I dont like that lol. I know Allah will do everything to help us get through but human is still human.
I contninued to pray and read quran. Usually I got back to sleep and I wake up feel tired. But I just get up and continue to work out. I know My laziness is here and it is really pushing me to not do anything. I feel so proud of myself today. I can get up and accomplish one thing especially to omake my body move and sweat. The thing about working out if it is not for skinny you just want to be healthy. I love to see myself improve everyday to love myself more. I do really want to have this special relationship with myself forever. I feel secure. I feel no need to validate. Sometimes yes but that is not my focus at all. I think having hobby and activities just for you make you dont need anyone. It is just you. Even you make me sa it will not last long.
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