Day 39- How to regulate emotion


When we have no stress aka stress free, life would be easier right? It sounds like everyone's dream to not have problem. However what if the things do not work out like we want for instance we have studied for years to get into university and out of sudden they reject us. What would your reaction? The most human things is crying out of loud. We start complaining how these things are not fair, why it is me, why I am enough. You begin to doubt yourself. No matter what the "bad things" would happen to our life. What bad for us maybe not 100% bad. We just see from our perspectives or human sight. We all know human has really limited to comprehend things. So, it is okay to complain or to feel stress or to feel not alright. However, we have to regulate the emotion that will not rock out ground, we will stay being unshaken even it is rocky.

any circumstances that cause any emotion especially in relationship such as getting betrayed by man, being ghosted or whatever you have encounter will create the instinct to protect ourselves to get hurt. This emotional response triggers the need to protect yourself. When we feel ease, the day getting its flow and it is easier to us to feel relax and let our guard down. The moment emotional triggers pop up, the moment of our instinct to focus to not get hurt.

For instance, you have been talking to a guy and you feel connected. One day, you feel he is little bit distance from you. Of course it is uncomfortable. What would we response? leave it? Yes, however sometimes we tend to talk beg a man to give attention for example texting him over and over or calling him. This is where your vulnerability pop out because you feel unsafe

The thing is to work on our emotional health so your emotion does not lead your way. First, having a hobby whatever trying new things. One hobby that I like the most for now is cooking. I can experiments with my bad food and good food even though for me it is incovinenet because I only have a tiny electric stove not whole kitchen but I try to give myself chance to explore. I don't want to be trapped by my own energy where I get from being "lonely". I transfer my energy to do things I like. Trust me I hate cooking back then. Especially cleaning after that. It is all mess when I cook. But rather than I give my energy to someone is not important why not water my emotional health.

Second, shift your focus on yourself. So when he is not responding you and your respond would be "I am being disrespected because I give him time and this is what he does, you can't be disrespecting me"  or  you give energy "it is always happening to me" because it is mental victim state. As soon as you get triggered we go right back to the brain and head instead of your heart and your ego. Slowing down what you feel and let you feel this trigger. You example text him and ask him with this desperate mind and you will regret why I do that. It is because you know you only satisfy after listening your ego to protect you. The process is hard and have to be consistent. It takes time to feel emotion. If it is too much for you after you doing exercise of breathing, take for a walk, or whatever you feel need to od for yourself. Sleep all day? why not

Third, develop self-trust. If we dont focus on believing yourself we tend to trust in another human being and expect them to not fail like you fail to trust yourself. you expect them to be perfect so "I can feel good about myself, I need to trust you so I can trust myself" We cant put this burden on somebody's live to be perfect in our life because you don't trust yourself. Trust that you are strong and you deserve loved even after getting hurt 1000x. How? maybe by doing simple things to make decision by yourself such as "do i look good with this shirt or that?" that is okay to have wrong decision that doesnt mean you wrong. You still have the decision and you will learn the accountability even it is not working good.

I am still learning about this as well. It is freaking hard but at least it is not 24 hours anymore. I would cry sometimes because I feel fail after doing this but it doenst mean none of my effort works. NO, it is just me being vulnerable for seconds and get back to focus on myself. 

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