Drive of obsession:
1. They have something you want. You have to know. Example: I stalk his account not because I love him because I love his life being rich, being socialized.
2. Manipulation tactic unconsciously or consciously
3. The future you want, imagine of the dream life you could be or have, status
4. Loneliness
5. Being delusional, missing something from life
6. Habitual
How to stop
1. No contact, block his social media
2. Figure out what you want, give the energy to yourself
3. Go to the therapist
4. Go get activities, hobbies, spend time out from phone
5. Take care of yourself
I think being busy is one of the most effective way to think about someone. You have your own goal for yourself, and think that you have to rely on yourself to make you happy. Once, I was obsessing my boyfriend in the way that I cry if we did not call, I cry if he did not text me because it was part of our relationship back then. When I bring up, he always blames me to get a life. Either I get manipulated or not it should have not affected me if I only rely on myself. We broke up and it was when I learnt rely on myself. After he cheating on me, My obsession seem decreased because what I want from him was his validation, his love, and affection everyday like talking, sharing. After it did happen, I still want him to text me but it does not drive me crazy anymore. It is like I keep waiting but my life is still going. I know for sure I need to take care of myself. I make myself busy by learning new thing and doing routines everyday that can feed me a good habit and consistent journey. I still have obsession but it does not make me cry anymore. I know I am settling for less because why I would him back even he cheated on me and left me when he thought I was crazy. I keep thinking why I am obsessed. When I found out that I need validation from someone to look at me and say I am worth of love I am done. I am no longer looking for that because I know it was all temporary from a man. The more I keep looking for validation, the more I feel lonely. The more I want him to do certain way the more it makes me crazy over him because I run to him as always. Daily life, I never share my life. He never ask how my job. I am the one who always ask and that is fine for me. I am no longer ask him to spend time with me because it makes him unhappy with me. I am taking my step back and give him space. I turned off the notifications, block his instagram, stop sharing location. I even deleted instagram so I can focus on myself and if I want to I just scroll from website but it is way complicated so I feel tired when I open. It works. I begin to write and workout and cook to make me happy or even painting.
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