Another Beginning to Get Rid of Fear and Self-Doubt in Writing
Well, hello Blog! Nice to meet you! How are you goin'? It seems like "you" and "I" are separated each other. Finally, I meet with my old friend. Yap, It's blog. This is my first time to write since I made this blog five years ago- when I was a junior high school student. I haven't always been consistent in blogging nearly I never write in blog. I have been looking forward to exploring my excitement in writing until now. Indeed, I'm really into it. I love writing poem, short story, review books, essay, articles, or everything. I always write in my notebook everything that inspires me. I just keep on me and don't want to share mine. The anxiety of being judged by people is the reason why I still get stuck on my fear. The leap of faith in writing suddenly pulled down when I've got criticized. How did it come about ? I don't know how the inception came but the only reason, seriously, I just scared to start writing in a blog. I totally felt my writing is not so good as my friends' writing or moving to blog to another blog for seeking the perfection. I began to admire and reflected my writing as the imperfection and the biggest fear hold me back; it was once again the fear of being rejected, criticized or censured. So these "crazy" things crossed up my mind then I just let the greatest threat of my life hold me back. It is fear and self-doubt. You know, it is like "they" tie up your breath and there's something heavy on your chest that makes you just want to "scream out" from those barriers. It always turns up after I just finished writing something. My mind keeps blowing that my words are no good, that no one ever likes what you pen, or even don't believe what you have written are useless. It keeps me pushing my step away to scratch out my creativity. Those whispering in my ears balls up my effort to get on loving what you do love; writing. I do believe that my fear comes when I want to be perfect, I want to be respected, that I want to show off what I did. It rushes me. The fear becomes stronger and feel like not gonna end. It builds its own place that cripples, crashes, and tears up in myself. In this way, all you want is quit. It's not easy to figure out what I should fear of. It's not easy to beat myself up about this until I joined a writing community to trigger my spirit. I touched with writer community when I was in senior high school. 'm glad I took the time to figure out a lot of things in my own and how to fix it. I started to follow writing competition even though I have to fight those fear every time I want to write. But now, I know how to fix the things. It is "practice". Sometimes I look back at my empty blog and realize how big I lost out much opportunities that God gives to me. I missed the opportunities to grow faster, monetize faster, etc. "How are you so afraid just to express your own feelings?" I ask myself every time I feel fear and self-doubt.
Now, I'm in 6th Semester of English Department. I want to continue what I started. I don't wanna end what I just started. It's time to grow up and keep from writing what I want to write. This time I get another chance. It's something I would net fear stops me. I'm writing from what in my comfort zone, it is poems. I feel quenched and excited that I wrote something that I want not based on what "people like. It makes myself more confident than before. The more you try to be perfect, the bigger fear comes to you. So, let's write as natural as possible. Don't let sharpen word cut your goal down. Start from believe in yourself. Go for It! Don't compare yourself to other. It's YOU. Whatever you do, don't lose out on doing something you love because of you can change.
Hello Fellas! I'm a new me. Blogging here we go:)
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