My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. We were talking about marriage yesterday and it makes me so terrible. Even he does not know how he is. It is his excuses that he is still young and if you want to get married quickly do not date an American guy. He was lying. He always switches his words. Last year he said he wants to marry me as soon as possible and now he has not been thinking about marriage. He gives me false hope. I mean every time we discuss the answer changes. I just want to record his words to prove all he do is changing his word. He is not interested in me he just keeps me just maybe because he is bored. I don't now I am not ready for that. I really love him even he did hurt me and did mean things or treated me terrible but I still love him. I recognize that this love is not healthy love like I wanted. It is trauma bonding and need to heal and to break it off. However it is so hard to not damn care about him or my relationship. It is obvious that I still depend on him in someway. I even say "i will propose then" i know i sound demanding but i dont think there is nothing wrong to as certain thing especially future life. What else you want except marriage if you have been in long term relationship and it make me feel so hopeless
I hate how the way he answers because he is not sure about me. I want to feel I have something to say to my parents especially I am already 25. I want to have halal relationship where I can make everything as reward for jannah and i am ready for marriage
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